My next book .. Coming soon!!
From Monkeying to Parenting .. My First Book..
The book about the common issues we parents face, the common mistakes we parents make and what all that includes Parenting…
Now .. available as an audio book on Spotify ..
For all you lazy readers 😊… now you can listen to my podcast.
Summer time is back .This word ‘summer’ has different meanings for different people.
While for most of us, it means scorching heat waves, sunny and exhausted long days and so on.
But for one , a very important section, this word bring lots and lots of joy. For them it means ice cream , cold drink, milk shakes; it means outings , Nani ka Ghar; it means swimming , cycling ; it means hours of play without mom asking them every now and them to revise their lessons.
Yes, the kids. The kids have their best of their childhood memories at this part of the year. Isn’t it ? What’s your favourite childhood memory ? Preparing for final exams ? Spending days in cold shivering days inside a blanket OR your summer vacations?
But .. But this summer is different. For reasons we all know. This time is different. We all are coping against this time in our own ways. While we adults are trying to adjust with increased loads of household chores, the new way of working from home without the routine tea time and lunch time gup-shup at office and on top of it, the uncertainty of the longevity of all this.
Amidst all this, again this very important section of the society adjusted the best of all.
How could I miss saying it before? The very beginning of summer used to bring new smiles to their faces. The smell of new books, the design of new bags, the colour of new water bottles all these things used to makes their eyes shine! The joy of entering into the new ‘senior’ class room with your friends is a feeling that cannot be described in words.
They missed it all .. this time.
They had all these new words ‘online class’ , ‘zoom’ , ‘meeting ids’ added to their vocabulary and to their life all of a sudden. They, like all of us, never imagined their classes this way. Their school this way. Their life this way. But they all adapted it so well.
Some of them have already taken their online PTMs and online assessments !!
Just imagine !!
We used to ask our kids to make their bag, sharpen their pencils and keep eraser, sharpener ready before the assessment days and now we ask them to check if the phone or laptop is charged, to keep the passwords handy !! We all have adapted already !!
This most important section of our society, the most protected, yet the most vulnerable section of our society, is doing so well !!
Of course a great deal of credit goes to the teachers for making this online academic process work. Without them none of this would have been possible.
But at the same time, don’t we think that it’s already enough and we can allow our kids to have a sigh of relief.
This summer is different and we can’t make it same for our kids. We can’t let them play outdoors, we can’t take them to swimming pool, we can’t take them for an outing, movie, restaurant.
But we can atleast give them their breathing space. We can just let them relax at home without worrying of connecting to the class . Without looking out for meeting ids and passwords , without worrying of whether their classroom-cum-gadgets are charged or not, sparing them the chaos of teacher’s broken voice over exploited internet bandwidth.
This year is definitely very hard for them as with all of us. Let us not make it harder.
There is no academic emergency. Let’s not drain them further. Let them breathe.
Pic courtesy: Dreamtime.com
Copyright : Parminder Kaur Sharma 2020
Goa is more than booze and beaches..
Check out what makes Goa different and How ???
Pic Courtsey Map at Hotel Radison Blue, Goa.
Speech delay is very common amongst kids these days.
It is not a rare sight of kids as old as 2 or 3 years using hardly few words and dependant mainly on sign language for most of their communication.
I feel, the major road block for kids not being able to pick up age appropriate speech is the ‘Its OK’ attitude of the family members.
“It’s OK .. he would start speaking soon”
“It’s OK, some kids pick up speech late”
I strongly contradict here.. yes he would start speaking soon and yes it’s correct that some kids do pick up speech late.. but it’s NOT OK to just leave him and his delay on its own.
If you are to catch a flight or attend an important meeting and you get to know you are running late than your scheduled time, what would you do ?
Would you think “It’s Ok .. we do miss flights some time “.. Or ” It’s fine ..some people do reach late on important events..”
No. We do make extra efforts to reach on time , like hiring a cab rather than taking public transport , checking fastest route etc.
Why ? Because we know it’s not just that flight or meeting. There are other linked events too that shall get impacted by our delay.
Same way it’s not just about the speech. His delay in picking appropriate speech is affecting his other growth parameters.
If a child can’t speak, he wont be able to read too and if he can’t read, his writing skills would be affected.
There are so many interlinked development patterns that get impacted.
So the very important aspect here is the realisation of the fact that we must act and not just assume things will fall back in place on its own.
If we overcome this barrier, half of the target is accomplished.
Now, let us come to the other half of the issue – the core issue.
Speech involves three factors –
willingness to speak ,
ability to speak and
words (vocabulary) to speak .
Willingness involves identifying the factors when the child feels the need to utter words in order to raise his demand.
As a parent or care taker despite having understood the need, we must prompt the child to speak . If we feel he doesn’t know the term , we can give him options.
Now, how you convey these options is also important.
Like Rather than asking , “Do you need milk ?” One may ask “Do you need milk or water ?”
By giving only one correct option , would again lead to a nod .. but giving more than one option.. you provide him with an opportunity to speak .
We must urge him to speak with as many opportunities as possible.
Next comes the ability part . Here we need to understand that our vocal system involves a close coordination between the tongue, cheek muscles, mouth, throat and other involved organs/ muscles.
We can enhance its abilities my giving him activities that involve high usage of these components .. like humming , playing flute , whistles , giving him straws of different widths for drinks.
You can also massage his cheeks gently with almond oil or any other oil to stimulate its muscles.
Touch and massage therapy bear long lasting results not only for the immediate issue in context but also in emotional development of the child.
You can have a fun time with your child by making wierd or funny facial expressions with your mouth in the mirror.
Then comes the vocabulary part. Without having sufficient and appropriate words to speak is like a skilled mechanic without his tools. We need to provide an environment for the child to learn new words as per his learning style .. now since the child is too young you might not yet know his preferred leaning style .
So better to use all. Pick up few frequently used words or alphabets, as per the learning stage of the child. Make sure to focus on a set of words at a time and use all means to promote that set.
You can prepare flash cards for those set of words, one side having that words and in the flip side a pictirial representation of that word.
You can also make him listen audio / video for those set of words ..as there are plenty available on net. But the catch here is to use this only under your close monitoring and just to introduce the concept to the child. I am in no way advocating dependency on mobile / tv / computer or any such gadget at such a tender age .
One can use chart papers and display these set of words / alphabets over his room / play area.
You can also label the part of his room, as far as possible like TV, Mirror, door, window , handle , chair etc .. to give him words for the things around him.
It’s important to develop the association between the word and its meaning .
Because usage comes only when the meaning of the word is quite clear.
To enhance his vocal skills , you can also try these :
– talking in front of mirror . Try talking with him facing the mirror , where he can see himself too.
– recording devices / toys where he can record himself and listen.
– musical instruments have a deep impact on the speech as it help him corelate with the magic of sound.
And last but not the least .. talk talk and talk ..
Talk to him even if he is not listening .. talk to him even if u know he won’t respond.. the idea is to engage with him as much as possible .
PS: Do not hesitate to seek Medical Advice, if needed. He / She might not express but could be in dire need of Help !!!
Copyright 2018 Parminder Kaur Sharma.
My son was doing a worksheet about different religions of our country.
Against all other religions columns were named ‘history‘ and ‘founders‘ but against Hinduism , it was ‘Hindu mythology’ and the founder column was missing for the same.
You can precisely find the history and founders of all religions but just because this religion is the oldest of all other, and its complete details are destroyed by the incoming invaders and remains are nowhere taught to the coming generations , I can safely term it as ‘mythology’ and not ‘history’. Myth – wherein Archaeological Survey of India has proof of that era.
And there is no one to question this terminology because its fashion today to make mockery of saints and spirituality and talking about our culture and heritage is against being secular.
We can have monuments and roads in the name of the invaders who looted our country not only of its wealth but it’s heritage and it’s origin too, but talking about protecting cow is being communal.
And for all those who are thinking this as another ‘Hindu’ Bhagat propaganda, the entry in my Matriculate form against the column religion was NOT HINDUISM.
Am I overreacting ? Is it ok to let my kids not know the complete history of their motherland?
Just a thought ..No offence..
Copyright Parminder Kaur Sharma 2018.
Typhoid was just another term for me, until it hit me with its perfect timing.
As I have been sharing the daily experiences of my Happy go lucky life as a Banker -cum- Parent -turned- Author, I won’t let Typhoid dampen my spirit too.
So here I am sharing my Do’s and Don’t’s when this disease knocks your door.
Causes of Typhoid
Typhoid is said be spread with contaminated water and food. However there is another cause of infection that is, sharing wash rooms with infected person. So, if by bad luck, you or any of your family member gets infected, make sure you let the patient use a separate toilet to stop further spreading of this disease.
To be on the safer side, the family and other close associates may get themselves vaccinated too (if not already done).
You know just before my vitals declared this to me, I was feasting on Chole bhature, samosa, tikki and churma ( Remember the Rangeela Jaipur trip !). Totally opposite to what I should be having.
So it’s utmost important to get yourself diagnosed for the actual cause of illness rather than just blaming it on routine fatigue, the mistake that I made.
The diet that should be followed is that how we start feeding the child on his weaning-off stage. Giving liquid or semi-solid diet like daliya, sooji, banana and yoghurt.
The idea is to least exert your intestine that takes the toll of your typhoid.
Drink plenty of fluids including lemonade and coconut water. Remain hydrated.
Consume boiled water and you can recover pretty fast if you can add Giloy and Tulsi to it. To take care of the acidity part you may add a pinch of saunf to it also.
The antibiotics and multivitamin supplements follow a lengthy routine and make sure you don’t miss it under any chance. Despite your getting the signals of recovery, don’t discontinue the medication as well as health supplements.
Most importantly, (this one is from my mother in law !) take ample amount of rest. As I shared I got this disease when I had a long ‘To-do’ list ahead of me and lying down at this time seemed to me such a waste of time. But to make sure you hit back on your routine soon, it is very important to get proper rest.
The most trouble-some part of it is, the severe headache, the body ache and the stomach ache even after the fever vanishes.
I wish none of my readers ever get sick. But if, by bad luck, you find yourself caught with it, learn from my mistakes and take care of yourself, as we all have a long ‘To-do’ list to complete.
Most Important: This was based on my personal experience. Please consult your doctor in case of any ailment.
Wish you all a good health.
Pic Courtesy Can Stock.
Copyright Parminder Kaur Sharma 2018
Jaipur – The Pink city introduces you to the colourful life and culture of its state.
For those who haven’t been at this place, Don’t miss to have it in your Bucket List.
It feels awesome when your kids step in for promoting your book ..
From my daughter
Thank you Readers for your reviews.
Recently, I was the Chief Guest in Govt ITI College in a small city and was to address 150 plus freshers who were ready to take up challenges after acquiring technical SKILLS and be a part of the workforce. The theme was ‘Motivation for Self Employment’.
The cheerful faces of both boys and girls (I would rather say young graduates) greeted me. Being a hard core banker, I was asked to deliberate on Self employment viz a viz how to start one’s own business or work rather than depending on Govt or private jobs which we all know is limited,
given the size of young, eligible population of our country.
I went on to motivate the young minds with a proper course of action. First and foremost, I told them, was to know their mindset well. They should be sure of the business or the work they would like to do based on the skills they had acquired through their education. This, has to be followed by the preparation of a project report and amount that one is ready to invest. If the amount in hand is not sufficient, then comes the role of Banks.I then tried to educate them about the factors related to granting loan.
I also drove the message home to eager students to be rooted to their home place instead of rooted out in big cities for so called jobs. Finally they could contribute by giving jobs to the needy and generating income for self, family and workers. This way, in paving their own future, they would contribute (Unburden) to society where large unemployment prevails. The message was well received.
There was an officer from Employment exchange office too who initially spoke about freeing oneself from dependency on parents by either getting a job or starting one’s own work. She soon shifted to Govt paying out ‘Berojgar bhatta ‘ ranging from Rs1000 to Rs6500 per month, based on qualification and how to ENROLL for the same.
This was an utterly shocking statement as it was totally contradictory to the purpose of the gathering! And I truly believe such people and such attitude drives young influential minds to run behind easy money! After all Berojgar bhatta is the contribution of the Tax payers. For me, it stands for killing the enthusiasm of young people to work and work hard to earn a living, thereby being a burden on society for ever.
Not long ago, a few young customers visited my branch to open a second account. The reason given was to receive Berojgar bhatta from Govt . When I asked them why they wanted it as they were already receiving salary, the reply given was, “We are on contract and what is the harm when govt is paying?”
Similarly in some states ‘Budapa pension’ is rolled out to senior citizens even if their children/ grandchildren are earning in lakhs p.a. or are settled abroad thereby loading on exchequer. I am not against such provisions but a line has to be drawn so that only the Needy get the money. After all it’s the tax payers’ hard earned money and it should be used judiciously and not as easy money (khairat).
What is actually required is to mould young minds to work to earn a living and children to look after their parents and not to be dependent on freebies. The tax payers’ money is for the development of the Nation and for the benefit of all.
The author, Asha Desai, a regular guest blogger, is presently working as Chief LDM ensuring banking facilities in all villages in District along with administration. Sensitising villagers about different products of Government implemented through banks and other Bank schemes and benefits drawn.
What appealed to her is the formation of SHGs where a group of (illiterate) women come together and cultivate the habit of saving and giving money to needy on interest.
It is said , your learn something new each time you read a good text.
True indeed. I was reading the Cinderella Story to my daughter, one more time.
She interrupted me in between while I was illustrating the torture of Cinderella’s step mom and step sisters.
“Mumma, why did she wait for the Prince to come and why didn’t she take any action against the injustice on her own ?
What if she could never make it to the party ?
What if the Prince could never find the real owner of that glass shoe?
And I was spellbound. I was proud of her question and at the same time astonished with the innocence with which she raised her doubt.
I never took this story beyond a simple fairy tale. I was glad she could.
Why do we always look for someone else to solve our problems?
Why do we always need a Prince for our rescue ?
And why boys have options of Super Heroes and girls of Princesses and Fairies ?
Why the fairer sex is raised as a weaker sex?
And when I see my kids having such queries in mind, I get a deep satisfaction within that I am able to perform my prime responsibility of raising sensible humans, upto some extent.
Am I correct ?
Copyright 2018 Parminder Kaur Sharma
Pic courtsey DepositPhotos
Another powerful yet heart wrenching Post by Mrs Asha Desai .. yes you recalled her right … The Iron Lady !!!!
Over to her now …
An article I read left me not only shocked but pondering over highly depleted morals
Police found the remains of a 70 year old dead woman (preserved by her five unemployed sons) with ink stains on her thumb to avail family pension of 40K which she was drawing after death of her husband.
What kind of life the mother would have lived and what kind of trauma she would have gone through during the last days of her life where all her sons are unemployed including two married ones.
She was earning ‘bread and (not butter but) other essentials’ not only for her sons but their family too.
Despite this, she was not given the due departure which was her right.
How can anyone be so selfish?
To remain unemployed is not a choice if one is ready to labour out.
Is it not for every adult to work and earn a living and not be a parasite on parents for ever ?
No job is small if one does it with dignity.
Isn’t it that society is living on easy money – monthly pension received to sustain so many members in this case.
The demand list of son/ daughter is never ending to satiate the impulses of the mind leaving the parents guilty for not able to provide all.
Where has the society gone wrong? As a parent, it is one’s duty not only for upbringing the kids but also to teach values in life.
Ours is a country having history of values and sanskars, where has it all gone?
Not that parents are not inculcating values, but that has taken a back seat given the OVER EXPOSURE which is not handled by youth. Lack of experience is leading to chaos, unsatisfaction drawing to suicide.
Is there a solution to overcome given scenario?
This guest post was contributed by Mrs Asha Desai.
Pic Courtsey Dreamstime.com
My book is now available!!!!
From Monkeying to Parenting..
An approach towards practical parenting.
Thankfully the ancient time was not so disorder oriented.
Else Shree Hanuman would had been categorised as ADHD – Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and Shree Laxman as ODD Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
“From Monkeying to Parenting
Label can be defined as a piece of information attached to an object with all its important details.
These are of great help in having all the required specifications handy or to compare two or more brands.
But why do we need to label humans ? And children ?
Your son could be stubborn at times, but that doesn’t allow you to label him a Stubborn Child.
Your daughter may be feeling lazy someday, but that doesn’t make her a Lazy Child.
The idea is, the child first and the trait later. Traits, if needed, could be dealt with but labels once affixed are difficult to remove especially when it involves psyche of a child.
From Monkeying to Parenting
Because Parenting matters !!
Tantrums have recently become an evolved way of communication by kids.
Why I am saying evolved is because when you find some better and effective tool in your present situation, you seem to have evolved it.
May be this form of communication have served their purpose better.
Or maybe there is something else troubling the child and he is not able to communicate.
What it could be and how can we help, not only the child but ourself.
To know the answers, check out- From Monkeying to Parenting
Because Parenting matters !!
Along with the birth of your child, you too are re-born as a parent. Raising / parenting a child is so simple and natural. So, why so much fuss about it?
Is it really that simple?
To parent a child is not just becoming a parent.
Parenting is the energy you exchange between you and your child and this energy is directly dependent on what you share amongst your other relations.
Yes, parenting is not a secluded relationship but works in close harmony with all your relationships.
How ? And What to do to make sure you carry the best of energy for your most beloved possession ..
From Monkeying to Parenting
Because Parenting matters !!
I am glad to share the pre order of my book.. From Monkeying to Parenting.
Are we really parenting our coming generation or simply monkeying around ?
Are we really teaching them Values or are just paying hefty bills in the name of upbringing ?
‘Being busy or exhausted’ is in these days.
Too busy to even watch our kids smile , or play or grow.. and then we are doing this all for our kids.
To find the real answers and the true solutions , come with me in my parenting journey.
From Monkeying to Parenting.
The Book is now available for Preorder.
Grab this opportunity !!
Dear Blogging Community,
While I had applied for leave at my office, I apologise for not informing about my absence to you.
I was helping myself recover from the surgery that my son underwent last week.
Although in my official leave application, I mentioned about his need of rest for medical reasons.
But as a matter of fact, he is much more brave than I thought he is . He handled all this with so much strength and will that astonished me without words.
More than him it was me who needed to struggle with pain and anxiety.
Kids surprise you .
Need your wishes for my early recovery.😊
Copyright 2018 Parminder Kaur Sharma.